WEB SITE
TERMS OF USE
Wow! You actually
came to this page. Our lawyers made
us include it and made us use a
precious button on our home page to
get you here. At first, we thought
the lawyers were a real pain. But
then we read the page. What a
Netwakening! It's really important
stuff. We took the legalese the
lawyers wrote and translated it into
readable English. So be a smart
nethead and read the stuff on this
page. It could prevent you from
hearing from our lawyers, or worse
yet, from really nasty people, like
prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site
so that people like you (and people
you like) can use it for personal
entertainment, information,
education, communication, and
cybergratification. So go ahead and
browse around all you like. You can
even download stuff from the site
but only for non-commercial,
personal use. If you do, though,
don't fool around with the copyright
and other notices all over the
stuff. They're there for a really
good reason. And don't even think
about distributing, modifying,
transmitting, reusing, re-posting,
or anything else uncool with any of
the stuff, including the text,
images, audio, and video, for public
or commercial purposes unless we
give you written permission. And
it's not likely we will.
If you visit our
site, you're also legally obligated
to [read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions listed below and any
other law or regulation that applies
to the site, the Internet, the World
Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You
shouldn't access or browse the site
if you have any problem with that,
because once you start, there's no
turning back -- you are bound by
[read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions.
So here's the
scoop on our Top Ten Rules for
Cybersurfers who hang out on our
site:
1. For
everyone's sake, just assume that
everything on the site is
copyrighted unless we say it's not.
So you can't use the stuff except
how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without
our written permission. And like we
said before, it's not likely we'll
give you permission anyway. In fact,
even if we wanted to, the lawyers
are likely to veto any deal anyway.
So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we
try to include accurate stuff on the
site, we're not promising you it's
accurate. In fact, we're not
promising you anything except fun
and entertainment. So if you use
stuff on the site, you're using it
at your own risk. Don't call us if
there's a problem because we assume
no liability or responsibility for
errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and
anybody else who helped us create,
produce, or deliver the site are not
liable for any damages you suffer
when you use it. In particular, the
lawyers want you to know that our
disclaimer includes "direct,
incidental, consequential, indirect,
or punitive damages arising out of
your access to, or use of, the site.
Without limiting the foregoing,
everything on the site is provided
to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF
ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR
IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF
MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON
INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that
some jurisdictions may not allow the
exclusion of implied warranties, so
some of the above exclusions may not
apply to you. Check your local laws
for any restrictions or limitations
regarding the exclusion of implied
warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful
from the mouthpieces. We put all of
that in quotes because we couldn't
figure out any other way to say it
that the lawyers would accept. But
here's the bottom line -- we're not
responsible if you're browsing
around and the site damages you or
your computer or infects it with any
nasty viruses. We sure hope that
doesn't happen, but if it does,
don't call us.
4. If you
don't want the world to know
something, don't post in on the site
in any bulletin board or anyplace
else. That's because anything you
disclose to us is ours. That's right
-- ours. So we can do anything we
want with the stuff you post. We can
reproduce it, disclose it, transmit
it, publish it, broadcast it, and
post it someplace else. We can even
send it to your mother (as soon as
we find her address). Not only that,
we can even use any ideas, concepts,
know-how, or techniques you post any
way we want to, including,
developing, manufacturing and
marketing products or other stuff
using the information you post.
5. Pictures
of people or places shown on the
site are either our property or
someone else's property we're using
with their permission. No matter
what, it's definitely not your
property. You or any of your
net-friends can't use it unless we
said you could on this page or
somewhere else on the site. And
guess what -- we won't say yes. So
be careful, Bunky, because
unauthorized use may violate all
sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep
the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's
also a lot of trademarks, logos, and
service marks on the site that
either we own or we're using with
someone else's permission. So don't
think you have any kind of license
or right to use them, because you
don't and we're not about to give
you one. If you don't leave them
alone and mess with our trademarks,
logos and service marks on our site,
we'll probably go ballistic, so will
the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks.
That means that we're likely to sue
you or to ask a prosecutor to come
after you for messing around with
our property or the property of
others.
7. You'll
probably notice we've linked our
site to lots of others. While that's
cool, it doesn't mean we've looked
at all those sites, much less
checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us
if some site you link to is bad or
has stuff on it that offends you or
your pets. Go ahead and link, but
remember, you're doing it at your
risk.
8. That
brings us to what you do on our own
site. While we occasionally listen
in on chat groups, or look at the
posting in our discussion groups or
on our bulletin boards, we take no
responsibility and assume no
liability for the content of those
locations or for any mistakes,
defamation, libel, slander,
omissions, falsehoods, obscenity,
pornography, or profanity you might
encounter when you visit such places
on our site. And don't be stupid by
posting or transmitting any
unlawful, threatening, libelous,
defamatory, obscene, scandalous,
inflammatory, pornographic, nasty,
mean, or profane material or any
material that law enforcement types
may consider a criminal offense, get
someone in court on a civil lawsuit,
or for that matter violate any law
-- anywhere, anytime. While we
certainly respect your privacy, we
have no choice but to fully
cooperate with any law enforcement
authorities or court which might ask
us who might have posted nasty stuff
on our site.
9. Software
that we use on this Site is
protected by all sorts of patriotic
U.S. laws. Because of that, you
can't download or send the software
to anyone in the vacation travel
spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North
Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other
country where United States has
embargoed goods; or (get this) to
anyone on the United States Treasury
Department's list of Specially
Designated Nationals, the U.S.
Commerce Department's Table of Deny
Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted
Internet Creeps List (just kidding
on the last one). As if that were
not tough enough, if you live in or
are a national of any of those
lovely places, you're not even
supposed to be reading this page, so
beat it!
10. We're also
allowed to change this page and
anything else on the site any time
we want to. That's because it's ours
and we have the programmers who can
do it. If we do change the page,
then you're bound by [read: stuck
with] those changes, too, whenever
you visit our site.
11. If
either of us wants to make something
of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty
word) then we have to follow these
rules of engagement. (sort of
according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is
governed by the laws of the State of
Nevada,
without regard to principles of
conflict of laws.
To the extent you
have in any manner violated or
threatened to violate
21biz.com
and/or its affiliates' intellectual
property rights, 21biz.com
and/or its affiliates may seek
injunctive or other appropriate
relief in any state or federal
court in the State of Nevada,
and you consent to exclusive
jurisdiction and venue in such
courts.
Any other disputes
will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises
under this agreement, we agree to
first try to resolve it with the
help of a mutually agreed-upon
mediator in the following location:
Reno,
Nevada.
Any costs and fees other than
attorney fees associated with the
mediation will be shared equally by
each of us.
If it proves
impossible to arrive at a mutually
satisfactory solution through
mediation, we agree to submit the
dispute to binding arbitration at
the following location: Reno,
Nevada, under the rules of the
American Arbitration Association.
Judgment upon the award rendered by
the arbitration may be entered in
any court with jurisdiction to do
so.
If this all sounds
kind of mean and undiplomatic, you
should have seen what the lawyers
gave to us in the first place. We
had to remind them that human
torture and sacrifice was outlawed
in the United States. Boy, did they
look disappointed!
5/2003 - reviewed 4/2007
21biz.com
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